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Sunday, August 20, 2006

Going Mad at Midnight:

As I sit here at midnight central time, I hear a cacophony of children playing relentlessly at our local private park. The question begs to be asked: why are these children playing outside at such an hour?

These aren't teenagers, mind you. They are tiny kids, not much older than my spry 2.75 year old. Our rural subdivision is quiet by most standards, so the presence of youth outdoors at this time of day tends to stand out. I keep wanting to step outside and ask "where's Mommy?" I can't imagine why a parent would allow their kids outside this late, especially young ones.

Do they value sleep at all? Are they naturally nocturnal? Perhaps they are secretly vampires feasting on unknowing inhabitants who just happen to stroll through the park. There has to be some supernatural explanation, because common sense dictates that 4-8 year olds should be IN BED AT MIDNIGHT.

Maybe this explains why kids these days are generally ornery and sassy, since, if this is the norm, they cannot possibly be well-rested. I'd be ornery and sassy too if I needed to sleep 10 hours and my irresponsible parental unit(s) left me outdoors into the wee hours.

In fact, since I'm sitting here listening to the neighborhood play date outside, and since my physical self likes to be asleep well before midnight, I can detect an ornery and sassy streak manifesting itself in me right about now. If only I had the authority to discipline any and every kid in the neighborhood...

Wait, what's that? Silence outside? Crickets and a slight breeze is the only audible thing out there? It's about time.

Off to bed I go. Finally. And I guess I won't have to get Child Protective Services, the Sheriff, and Homeland Security involved.

UPDATE: There appears to be a straggler still out there. Give 'em an inch, and they take a foot.


.: posted by Dave 12:28 AM

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