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Friday, August 10, 2007

Thirty hours have passed since Granny died, and I still don't know how to assimilate it. Most people don't seem to understand how close I was to her. I think most people hear "grandmother" and assume that she was just a supplementary part of my life. She was far from that.

She paid me for my good grades, even though I would have made them anyway. She proudly announced to anyone who would listen about her grandson, and his exploits. She always wanted me to be a preacher, but she was proud of me when my life didn't go in that direction. She always asked about my friends, and how they were doing. She cared more about everyone else than herself.

I recall being told about how she would drive to Atlanta to get me in my infancy, and she would take me back to Knoxville, and my mother would have to drive back to bring me back home. My Granny, it seems, was prone to holding me hostage. She didn't want to let me go. The world would be a far better place if all children were loved like that.

In her final waking hours, she was focused on worrying about my newborn son, not herself. I believe that she held on for three days after the "death rattle" settled in not because she was determined to survive, but because she wanted to be assured that little Dylan was going to be okay. It also wouldn't surprise me if, while she was laying there, holding on for dear life, she asked the Lord to spare the little one and take her instead. That would be something I would expect from her.

So Granny not only adored me, she adored my friends, and my wife, and my babies. And I adore her. And I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be able to deal with this, because right now, it feels like it's never going to stop hurting. I've lost a piece of my life, one that I won't get back until the Second Coming. And right now, it doesn't feel like I can wait that long.

I miss you, Granny.

.: posted by Dave 12:17 AM

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